March is for women and that woman is my Nanima
This marks the end of Women's History Month and International Women's Day for another year. There really is so much buzz around the month and celebrating women. I tried to plan an event where people could play and connect over the Female Empowerment Deck but things just didn't work out and I struggled to find a venue in enough time to then gather attendees.
Last year I made about 20 mini decks and handed them out on the streets of Richmond in an effort to spread the word about Love Your Company, and well, female empowerment. I'm not sure I achieved either to be honest. It was a nice sentiment but hard to prove impactful. I thought about doing something similar again but it didn't feel right so I decided to leave it and I’m happy I did. It's nice to see women being treated to nice things and experiences but I think you need to be intentional about it and not just add to the noise.
A few days later ironically, I came across this article all about the history of Women's History Month and why it's so much more than having events and gifting. And let me tell you, I learnt a lot so please do have a read. There are so many women behind big inventions like the electric refrigerator and car heaters (!) and you'll understand how the day of recognition came to be in the first place.
On the topic of brilliant women, we also celebrated my Nanima's birthday this month. She is my maternal grandmother and the heart and soul of our family. Every year, and on her birthday especially, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have such a strong presence in my life. It's a real honour to be a granddaughter and I don't take my role lightly. I often think of how much change my Nanima has experienced over the generations and within her own family. Times were so different for her growing up and she's had to experience so many firsts with her own children and then some more with her grandchildren. No longer living in joint families, moving in before marriage, marriage not being the final destination, interracial relationships - these are all things that simply weren't acceptable when she was younger. I'm grateful for her acceptance because no matter how much times have changed, it's still an adjustment.
I've noticed over the past few years Nanima has really embraced her birthday and celebrating it so we like to make it a thing and shower her with excitement and celebrations. I find it interesting when people dread getting older because I think it's such a privilege and joy. I don't think it helps that we live in a time of comparison making us feel not good enough, loved enough or successful enough by a certain age.
Growing up I used to love my birthdays. The parties, blowing out candles, making a wish, all of it - and that's because my family made it a big deal which made me feel really special as a child. As I've gotten older I still like to celebrate but I'm more chilled about it. Do something nice on the day that doesn't have to be anything grand, just something to fill my cup and make me smile. A lil party is a bonus but not a must anymore, haha.
love & labels
This month my husband and I celebrated nine years of togetherness, and two years as Mr & Mrs. February 19 was our dating anniversary for six years, and then we got hitched in Vegas and planned our ceremony slot to be on the same date, marking year seven. Last week we were talking and reminiscing about the years gone by and we both agreed that while two years married is a really nice milestone, it's the seven year foundation that got us there, and nine years of love, respect, acceptance, fun, laughter and kindness that has kept us together. Yes we're happily married, but the marriage bit holds less weight than the length of time we've spent nurturing our relationship. I always wish for our sense of togetherness to remain strong. Not in the literal sense because we wouldn't survive if we were in each other's pockets all the time, but thinking about the small ways we can make life easier for each other is what makes us appreciate one another on a much deeper level.
Vegas was such a fun and special time, just the two of us. Our officiant said a few words at the beginning of our ceremony that I’ll never forget - he said anyone can get married. It's how we choose to weather the storm and deal with the hardships that will arise in our marriage that will ultimately determine the longevity and quality of it.
So this is just a reminder that labels are just labels. Do what makes you happy and let others to the same.
Live and let live!
first words of january
Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
I’m starting to get it now when people say January feels so long. Returning from Canada feels like a lifetime ago and I’ve already seen friends, done home bits, delved into work, renewed my passport etc etc etc. I'm on week three of Couch to 5K and realised I actually started on the Monday after 'quitters day' which is known to be the day people abandon their new years resolutions. Ha! Ironic I know, but I’m just glad I’m giving it a go.
I’ve been reading up on the anti-DEI backlash and am quite sad and disappointed by it all. I’ve seen first-hand through my business the impact of honest conversations around identity and life experiences on individuals and what it feels like to be heard and seen. I absolutely believe there is a need for companies to actively put in the work to make their environment and processes inclusive and accessible to all. I read this article in Harvard Business Review about tangible ways we can embed the practices of inclusion and equity into the workplace without using technical terms, if that does become a real threat. Many helpful examples in the article and it stresses that genuine change doesn't come from one report or all-hands meeting - all actions need to include everyone and every type of person in the process. And yes, I'm aware that my one hour workshops that encourage having difficult but honest conversations won't create overnight change, but the fact that 94% of workers care about feeling a sense of belonging at work means that my work is a vital contribution. I will however, be actively encouraging different types of groups at work to use the cards, and not just employee resource groups for example, where we assume the Female Empowerment deck is only for the ‘Women at X’ group.
In lighter news, I would like to have my first (and hopefully more to come after that) in-person event this year where I can invite people to play the prompts and experience different decks. I'm nervous to do this because my biggest worry is will people show up?! But I need to give it a go and experience all that it takes to host an event. Watch this space (and follow us on Insta @loveyourcompany_) to see how I get on.
And finally, a few random things I'm liking these days. Not Love Your Company related, just some nice things that you or someone you know might like because why not? :)
really enjoying these italian biscuits with my coffee. Bought a pack from Italy originally, and then spotted them in Eataly so picked up some more! Just the right amount of sweet.
made a wedding album for my parents and chose a beautiful sari one. I just love the vibrant colours (purple is gorg) and the quality was great. It's been ages since I’ve developed and stuck on photos but I was so pleased with the results. I’ve got the red sari one for myself because my wedding lengha was traditional red :)
went to watch Chineke! Orchestra (pronounced chin-uh-kay) perform at the Southbank Centre last week and they were incredible. Europe's first majority black and ethnically diverse orchestra.
2024 wrapped
At the end of December last year, I took a selfie sitting in a blanket on the sofa at my parents' house in Canada. I remember taking it because I wanted to look back at it in a year's time and see how different my life was. I thought to myself, a year is a long time and so much will change for the better. I had a tough 2023 and just wanted things to look up for me. I was desperate for personal fulfillment. Ironically, now I can't find that photo on my phone. I stumbled across it a few times throughout the year but now it’s nowhere to be found. I’m taking it as a sign - do I need that photo to remind myself of the year I’ve had? Probably not. Although I definitely would have analysed it a lot.
My life hasn’t drastically changed since that day even though I naively thought it would, but I have so much to be grateful for and I wanted to share three small wins from this year in the hope that you too will reflect on the experiences that might go unseen but are shaping you.
I’m saying what’s on my mind more.
Earlier this year I read about a lady who had a goal to be honest 100% of the time. At the time I remember thinking how silly of a ‘challenge’ that was because surely we all know that being honest is better than lying and it shouldn’t be difficult practice honesty as an adult. But I’ve realised that it’s the things I don’t say or keep to myself that stresses me out more. So whether it was business-related or to do with personal relationships, even if it felt uncomfortable to address, I’ve felt much better (and lighter) after saying what’s on my mind.
I’m blocking out the noise.
I haven’t mastered this but I’m getting better. I’ve noticed that when you do something slightly unconventional or a bit risky (women especially), people don’t always get it. There always has to be a plan B or a deadline to the dream. I understand that it comes from a place of wanting security for me, but it’s also nice to have people in your corner who simply support you for going for it. I’m very aware of the risks and time it takes to grow and scale a business, I’m literally in the thick of it and working very hard to make it a success. This takes the most courage in my opinion, so I owe it to myself to make the days count and block out other people’s opinions or throwaway comments. It’s up to me (and me only) to put a deadline on it and revert to my plan B if I want to or need to, not because I cracked under the pressure of wanting to fit in.
I’m learning through others about the type of person I want to be.
Running a small business is wild, and also very interesting. I’ve been on a mission this year to attend a range of networking events so I can meet people, talk about Love Your Company, and also practice doing these things on my own as I’m the sole founder and it’s kind of essential at this stage of my business. I’ve experienced a lot of personalities and people not quite matching their social media personas. Businesses copying my prompts, founders saying one thing on social media and the complete opposite offline. I’ve learnt to just be authentic, decent, kind and fair.
2024 has been a year of growth and transition for me. I’ve really had to tap into my self belief and remind myself of all my wonderful qualities. I’ll be bringing my drive, ambition and creativity into 2025 and I’m looking forward to it. And this time next week I’ll be back on that same sofa at my parents’ house. I probably won’t take another selfie because what’s the point, but I will remember that moment and reflect on the year I’ve had.